Tag Archives: Children

3 Comments

I don’t see why the public is making such a big deal about this issue. It’s their establishment. If those are the rules they want to implement, that’s their prerogative.

I think the real reason behind all the banning of children, in general, is because they are not being taught how to act in public. There are always the parents who do teach their children how to be respectful of others. That the world does not revolve around them. Many parents these days do not. It may because when they were going up, their were too many rules and they want to be more relaxed parents. I don't know, I'm  just guessing as to the many reasons why kids seem to get away with being disrespectful in general.

When I was growing up going to a restaurant was a prized privilege. If you misbehaved that privilege was taken away. My mom worked full-time, so the time we got to spend with her was special. I did not want to get left at home because I couldn't control my impulses. Or worse yet, none of us got to go out because of my bad behaviour.

It was very rare that I saw other kids misbehaving in restaurants. If I did, even as a kid, I wondered what was wrong with them and why are they acting like that. I understand that there are special-needs kids out there and they can’t for the most part control their behaviour. I’m talking about the kids whose parents just can’t be bothered to parent.
As an adult I've walked out of family-style restaurants because it was too noisy and chaotic. Screaming, yelling, running around, that was enough for me. I turned around and got back in the car.

That is not my reality. I know that parents are used to a certain amount of noise level, so they learn how to tune it out. I also know that kids make noise and the days of being seen and not heard are over with but I don’t want to patronize your establishment where kids kicking the back of my booth is the norm.

If I’m out with friends and family that have kids, I know what I’m in for and will deal with it. If I’m out with adults, I like the option of childless restaurant and that’s okay. Most cities have more restaurants then they can handle, so finding a child friendly restaurant for families should not be a problem.

My favourite excuses from parents as to why they don't correct their children:

  • “I don’t want to crush their spirits.” Having them act like they were raised by human beings is NOT crushing their little spirits. It’s teaches them boundaries and the basic rules of society. Good luck with that crap when they have to get a job. Their asses will be fired almost as soon as their hired. Or at the very least they won’t get the promotion they feel they deserve because they get on every one's last nerve.
  • “You can’t tell my children what to do.” Really, when you leave them in my care I’m in charge. I’m not going to beat your children but if they act up you better believe I will tell them off. If you don’t like it, find someone else to look after them.

One person who tells it like it is, is my aunt. In many ways, it drives me crazy how outspoken she is, but when it comes to kids, we are on the same page. In her house there are rules. If you don’t want to follow them, don’t come back. True story:

There were some kids jumping on her white furniture, with their muddy outside shoes on. It left marks on the couch and she went ballistic. Rightfully so. Who doesn't give their kids a talk before they go to someone’s house? She told the kids off, and they had to sit quietly for the rest of their stay until the mother came back. She told the mother, “if you don’t teach your children how to act in other people’s houses, don’t bring them back here. And if you don’t like how I talk to them you don’t have to come back either.” The mother was not happy, but too bad. If your happy with your children destroying your home, good for you. That doesn't give them the right to destroy mine. Bad-ass kids and lazy, passive parents.

The banning of children on airplanes is a little harder, because there are fewer choices for good, quality airlines. It’s not necessarily fair to the coach passengers either. Just because they can’t afford to pay for a business class ticket, doesn't mean they should be subjected to screaming babies and children. I do have a little sympathy for parents on this one because flying is the fastest and easiest way to get across country. They want to get to their destination just as quickly as you the childless ones do.

I've also heard of childless weddings. Specifically small, intimate evening and night time weddings. Mind you, in my opinion it doesn't matter when or how big your wedding is. It’s your wedding, if you don’t want kids there, that’s your choice and prerogative. Guests can choose to go, or not to go. My mom, always took us with her, when going to weddings, picnics, etc. If there was a no kids policy, she didn't go. Life moves on. She didn't try to guilt the person, or tell them it’s not right to ban kids. She sucked it up and enjoyed the rest of her weekend with us.

Back to the topic at hand. Who wants to bring children to afternoon and evening weddings anyway. Don’t most kids nap at some time in the day. And aren't most kids in bed by 7:30, 8:00 anyway. Having kids whining, crying, and generally misbehaving because their tired is a great backdrop to one of the most important days of your life. Isn't it just common sense?
I do realise that paying for babysitters just isn't in the budget for a lot of people. That sucks and I’m sorry but sometimes we have to miss out on fun events in life. If someone states, "Sorry but this is a child free wedding," then that’s the way it is.

What are your thoughts on banning children from certain places?

Song of the Day: Surrender - Billy Talent II 'Surrender' - Billy Talent, 2006, Billy Talent ll

Till next time,

Nadia

3 Comments

This is not a new topic but it's a topic that I felt I needed to write about. My viewpoint isn't new or different, there are thousands of other people that feel the way that I do. These are my words, thoughts and opinions. Some may agree, some may hate it. But it's my truth.

What is it going to take for parents to realise how important it is to be involved in their children’s lives. I’m not talking about unhealthy parents. Parents who are actively addicted to drugs or alcohol. Parents who are abusive or mentally ill and not being treated, in some form. We know and if you didn't know, now you do, that it’s not healthy or safe for children to be raised by parents who are addicted or not mentally stable. We also know that parents in these situations are raising children everyday. Another tale for another day.

For those who are not any of the above. What the hell is the matter with you? Whether your kids are planned or not you made the commitment to your partner and to your children to be parents. So do it.

Just because the relationship didn't work out, does not give you an excuse to leave your child’s life.

It certainly doesn't give you the right to start a new family and forget about the former.

Waiting until the child is grown up and then hoping that they come to you is not acceptable. Do you realise, that by then it’s probably too late? Your not going to all of a sudden become best friends. There may be some type of relationship there, but it’s not the same as if you were an active part of their life growing up.

Your getting older and so are they. Why wait for tomorrow. It could be too late. You, the parent could drop dead. Your kid could get in an accident and die before you.

Blaming your bad relationship with your ex is not an excuse. Again, you chose them in the first place. If it was a one night stand, you still had the choice. If you didn't want the responsibility of parenthood you should have given up your parental rights.

Why were/are you not fighting to stay involved in your kids life? What happened in your life where you feel that it’s okay to walk away? Or do you just not care? I'm really interested to know, what goes on in the heads of parents who walk away.

Is it easy, to stay active in your child’s life if you don’t live in the same household as them? Of course not but it has to be done. Nothing in this world worth fighting for comes easily.

Moving across the country or the world is not a good idea. Whether you have custody or not. Both parties should stay within a reasonable distance of each other, to make it easier to see their children. Some might say, "Well I have to go where the jobs are." Well, I guess you should have thought about that before you had kids.  Sometimes we have to stay in crappy jobs for the sake of our kids. Life is crappy, suck it up. (I may seem harsh to some, but think of how your kid feels when it's 8:15 pm and you were supposed to pick them up since 3 pm. No phone call to say your running late, you just don't show up. Over and over again for years).

  • Don’t be upset when your kids lose faith in you because you continue to not show up for promised visits.
  • Don’t be upset when your kids don’t call you mom, dad or any variation. You have to earn that.
  • Don’t talk bad to your child about their other parent. They will learn soon enough, what kind of person they are by their actions or in-actions.
  • Don’t assume that your ex is talking bad about you to the kids. Yes, a lot of parents do this. Shame on them. But a lot don’t, mine didn't.

Options, if you can’t see your kids.

  • Skype, or something close to it. You may or may not have to pay for Internet connection. If you don’t have a computer or Internet, ask a friend or relative to use theirs. I don’t know too many mentally healthy people who don’t want you to keep in touch with your kids.
  • Good old-fashioned letters or postcards.
  • Email. Again, if you don’t have your own computer, you can ask a friend or go to your local library.

Don’t forget their birthdays. That’s pretty sad. You were there when they were born, but you can’t even send them a card because you forgot the day.

Song of the Day: Fairytale - Little Voice 'Fairytale' Sara Bareilles, 2010, Little Voice

Till next time,

Nadia