Tag Archives: Death


I will probably write about this chapter in my life again, here or on another platform. I'm sure over the next several months/years I'll have a lot to share. Here is the first one.

On October 19th 2014, my mom lost her battle to cancer. It doesn't make sense. I'm heart broken, sad, empty, and angry. My first love is gone and I don't know what to do with myself, other than take life one hour at a time. I can't even do a day at a time quite yet.

Her fight with cancer was a on and off, mostly off, for the last 4 years. This was completely unexpected. The oncologist along with my mom & the family are shocked. She was supposed to go in for another round of chemo, knock out the cancer, and move on with life. We had no idea the cancer had spread and spread so damn fast.

My sister and I were both by her side at the end. Other family & friends were also able to say goodbye, earlier in the day. For those that could not get there, please don't feel bad or guilty, mom knew you loved her. For whatever reason, beyond our understanding, you were not supposed to remember her that way.

I'm so happy that Kai the cat and mom got to say goodbye to each other. The palliative care floor was more than happy to welcome family pets. After mom went into the hospital poor Kai would stand outside her bedroom everyday, looking for her. Probably wondering where she was. Or as mom said, not my words, "Where is the old bag?" Zingers to the end. I cancelled Kai's annual checkup to take her in Saturday, to see mom the day before she died. Kai walked all over mom, smelled her, walked around the room, and repeated this twice more. When she was finished saying goodbye, Kai went into her carrier and waited for us to take her home. Animals understand death, probably better then we do, you just have to give them the opportunity. I'm so thankful to the 5th floor, for allowing mom and Kai to say goodbye to each other.


Monday I have to get my head together for school and all of the estate paper work that will start flooding in. I'm making myself relax this weekend and not think about Monday. On this weekends agenda, I'm drying some flowers from all of the arrangements we received and am going keep them in a shadow box. Possibly something like this. I'll probably write more about creating the shadow box in a future post.

me, mom, sister
me, mom, sister. Ignore the ashy legs, it was an impromptu pic & she was a busy working mom 🙂

Part 2

  • This year has not started out well for my city. There was a death of a young woman, that is being treated as suspicious by law enforcement. One of the things that I actually enjoy about my city is the low crime rate. Sure there's petty crime, like any small city but the violent crime rate is very low. I'm not going to speculate about the details of the case because I don't know anything yet. The postmortem on the victim is being done within the next few days, or less. They details will surface in time. Other then that I'll just leave the subject with thoughts and prayers for the family & friends of the departed. RIP.
  • This weekend will probably be a cross between writing, editing and trying to shake whatever bug I may have. Although I feel much better this morning. It could just be that I'm tired or that the limited amount of sunlight is getting to me. Who knows? Maybe I should see if I can find a cheap blue light somewhere. I've heard that dogs can benefit from blue light therapy. Apparently they can get depressed or blue from the shorter days, like some human beings do. As I'm writing this I've noticed that Kai the cat was not her usual energetic self for a good 2-3 weeks. (She's fine now.) Don't worry, if she wasn't eating or drinking she would have been seeing her vet. Her appetite was normal, so the household didn't worry, too much.
  • Is it odd that I'm so happy that I finally purchased my 2013 agenda? I think I'm just happy because I've been searching the city for the last 6 weeks or so. I didn't get the brand that normally do, because they haven't been in stock. Which I'm not to happy about. I've been using agenda's & this particular brand (Mead) for at least 10 years. The one that I did end up getting was not my normal brand, but I will be happily filling it out this weekend. Is anyone else, weird like me and thrilled to get their yearly agenda?

Enjoy the 1st Friday of 2013! I will not be participating because our First Friday's are downtown by the waterfront. Which equals, freezing temperatures. Plus the First Friday committee needs to bring in more businesses to participate. But that's another story.


Song of the Week:Gabriel's Oboe - The Mission (Original Soundtrack from the Film) Gabriel's Oboe, The Mission (Original Soundtrack from the Film), 2004, Ennio Morricone. See Gabriels's Oboe. (Links may not work in all countries.)

Till next time,